They say you can’t make a pig look beautiful by putting lipstick on it.
It is always fascinating – in a sad, almost tragic way – to watch the state-controlled Herald attempt to paint a disaster as a triumph.
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Yesterday’s article, “Zimbabwe’s SADC chairmanship sparks MICE tourism boom and growth,” is a textbook case in the regime’s propaganda playbook: take an unremarkable or failed tenure in regional leadership, cherry-pick a few side events, and inflate them into a supposed national achievement.
This is the equivalent of claiming that a wedding’s success should be measured by how much the caterer sold ice cream outside the venue.
Let us be clear: Zimbabwe’s one-year chairmanship of SADC has not been remembered for any decisive regional leadership, groundbreaking policies, or meaningful interventions in the pressing crises facing southern Africa.
Instead, it will be recalled – if at all – for the government’s obsession with optics, pageantry, and self-praise, while SADC itself stumbled along with the same inertia that has long rendered it toothless.
The Herald’s entire argument is essentially this: because Zimbabwe hosted some meetings and conferences in Victoria Falls and a few other tourist spots during its tenure as chair, this was a “massive benefit” of our leadership.
Really?
That is the bar now?
A handful of events that, in any other functioning nation, would have been routine tourism and hospitality business are suddenly elevated into a crowning diplomatic legacy?
This is like boasting that your year as class prefect was a resounding success because more people came to the school tuckshop.
The examples given in the article are almost comical in their banality.
We are told of “The Regional World Children’s Day,” the “SADC Technical Barriers to Trade Co-operation Structures meeting,” and the “International Council on Archives” gathering.
All worthwhile in their own right, but hardly game-changing moments in the life of a regional bloc grappling with poverty, political instability, climate change, food insecurity, and economic inequality.
In fact, these events had little to do with Zimbabwe’s leadership as SADC chair.
Hosting a meeting is primarily a logistical matter – book the conference venue, arrange catering, and print name tags.
The venue rotates across member states, often based on prior bids or geographical fairness.
Chairing SADC does not magically summon these events; it merely makes the host nation the next in line for the regional merry-go-round of gatherings.
But the most telling part of the Herald piece is what it doesn’t say.
It avoids mentioning the pressing issues where Zimbabwe’s chairmanship utterly failed to show leadership.
Under our watch, SADC made no meaningful progress in addressing the ongoing political repression in Eswatini, the deteriorating security situation in northern Mozambique, the deepening governance crisis in Zimbabwe itself, or the crippling regional energy shortages.
There was no bold initiative on climate adaptation despite repeated climate disasters in the region.
No concrete regional plan on food security as drought and floods battered member states.
No reform of SADC’s election observation guidelines despite their credibility being shredded by whitewashed reports that bless even the most fraudulent polls.
This silence is deafening.
And so the propaganda machine does what it always does – find something trivial but positive, and inflate it to fill the void of actual accomplishment.
We are told that the influx of conference delegates meant hotels had higher occupancy, some craft sellers moved more curios, and even that private homes in Victoria Falls hosted overflow visitors.
All well and good for those few weeks – but is this truly the yardstick for measuring Zimbabwe’s SADC chairmanship?
Shouldn’t leadership of a regional bloc be judged by policy outcomes, strengthened cooperation, and tangible socio-economic progress across member states, rather than how many lanyards were printed in Victoria Falls?
The article even claims this so-called “MICE boom” is a pillar in our march towards becoming an “upper-middle-income society by 2030.”
This is laughable.
Even if we took the tourism bump seriously, it was short-term, event-driven, and limited to a few urban centres.
It did nothing for the millions of Zimbabweans living in poverty, battling unemployment, and enduring a collapsing healthcare system.
It did nothing for the rural farmer in Binga who still waits for decent roads, the teacher in Gokwe earning a pittance, or the urban family enduring 16-hour power cuts.
Linking a spike in conference tourism to the grand vision of national economic transformation is not just dishonest – it is an insult to people’s intelligence.
Worse still, this spin erases the fact that Zimbabwe’s international image remains battered, and not because of lack of tourism events.
Our tenure as SADC chair unfolded under the shadow of continued political repression, contested elections, and economic decline at home.
The fact that a few hundred foreign delegates enjoyed a few days of conferencing in our resorts did not change the perception – held by many across the region – that Zimbabwe is a case study in governance failure.
No amount of “MICE tourism” lipstick can disguise that reality.
This sort of state media whitewashing also does a disservice to SADC itself.
The bloc desperately needs serious reform and dynamic leadership.
It is already seen by many citizens as a club of ruling parties that protects each other rather than holding members accountable.
When the chairmanship passes from one country to another, there is an opportunity – however slim – for the new leader to break the cycle of mediocrity.
Zimbabwe squandered that chance, and instead treated the role as a public relations exercise, complete with ribbon cuttings, photo ops, and glowing Herald headlines.
We should not let this go unchallenged.
The record must show that Zimbabwe’s SADC chairmanship failed to deliver on the urgent needs of the region.
No matter how much the Herald waxes lyrical about tourism statistics, history will not judge our tenure by the number of conferences held in Victoria Falls.
It will judge it by whether we used our leadership to confront the region’s crises, build solidarity on pressing issues, and strengthen democratic governance.
By that real measure, our scorecard is embarrassingly blank.
Yes, tourism is important, and yes, events like COP15 or regional forums can inject some temporary economic activity.
But we must not confuse these side benefits with the primary duty of chairing SADC: to guide the bloc towards meaningful collective action and a better future for its people.
The Herald’s spin may convince a few die-hard loyalists, but most Zimbabweans – and many in the region – can see through the charade.
As Madagascar takes over the chairmanship, it is worth hoping they will focus less on tallying the number of conferences hosted, and more on leading with vision and courage.
The region faces too many challenges to waste another year on empty gestures and self-congratulation.
Zimbabwe’s leadership of SADC will be remembered not for a tourism boom, but for what it truly was: a wasted opportunity dressed up in glitter for the evening news.
TENDAI RUBEN MBOFANA - THE UN-OPPRESSED MIND! 